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Thursday, 6 March 2014

300: Rise of An Empire Review

Seize it indeed! 
300: Rise of An Empire Review – Here we go…another confession by yours truly, besides horror movies; another genre I avoid is all these Greek mythology and anything that falls along that category. Heck, I watched Clash of The Titans just for Sam Worthington because he was still hot from his ‘Avatar’ form. I even stayed away from the first ‘300’ starring Gerald Butler despite people raving about the Spartans. It was only natural I also wanted to shun this new feature film. Dah ler screenplay by Zack ‘the-man-who-spoiled-Man of Steels-for-me Snyder. It made me resent this movie even before I watched it. Tengok-tengok, my friends won like a gazillion preview tickets and forced me to folo them….haiz…ok ok….fine!!! Jom gi tengok!
Nice neck! Can I slash them? ;) 
Where do I start? As I mentioned, Greek thing is not my thing, because me no likey History, me more into Geography. From my understanding, Greeks and Persians are like sworn enemies who are always at each other’s throat – like literally! If they don’t like you, abis dia slit your throat! ERK! Ganas kan? These stupid Persians kenot duduk diam and wants to concur all of Greece so they go from one district to another killing whoever that fight against them. Their King Darius finally gets defeated by this dude called…Thermometer (as referred to by my friend!)…eh kejap…it’s actually Themistocles’s (Sullivan Stapleton) deadly arrow.  Darius’s son, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) witnesses his father’s death and vow to avenge him. His vengeance is fuelled by Artemisia (Eva Green), Greek by birth but sworn to destroy her homeland for betraying her. What follows next is an epic battle in the rough ocean trying to defend each other’s land.  Themistocles seeks help from all over Greece, even from Spartans to unite and defeat their common enemy. Will they succeed? *que topless man running around with shield and sword!
Yes it will! Burn baby Burnnnnnnnn!!!! 
The only person I recognise from this movie was Eva Green (she was a Bond Girl!) but then I noticed this sweetie pie, Rodrigo…macam kenal je…macam kenal je…tapi gamba apa ek? Lepas tu baru ingat…lerrrr…he played ‘Karl’ in ‘Love Actually’! Mak datuk hang! Hampir-hampir tak recognise lepas kena shave kao-kao from top to bottom (bahagian ‘tengah’ tu not so sure lar! Hehehe)! They made him look like a dominant gay man (no offence my gays friends) with his bling-bling’s covering his head! (Kalah pengantin perempuan in an Indian wedding tau!) Tsk tsk tsk…Y Rodrigo YYYYYYY??? Anyways, acting wise, most of the cast played they manly or woman acting manly role to almost perfection. Eva Green was simply brilliant as a women seeking revenge and commanding a ship full of broad mans in her super awesome cloths! Sullivan however was less convincing except during his ‘kata-kata semangat’ speech! All they did in this movie was bagi kata semangat, fight, fight, hack the enemy’s head, slash sana, tusuk sini. Stop to recover, count their loses pastu ucapan semangat again then…guess what? Kill or get killed lor. The beauty however or should I say the icky part was watching people head’s getting cut like fruit ninja game with blood gushing out from every corner of this movie! If you have low tolerance for blood, you better stay away wey. If not, silap haribulan, you will spew your food out your guts! Despite all the gore, I must admit I kinda enjoyed watching it. Maybe sebab I had a bad day at the office and already imagined. If I could kill my enemy, how would I do it! Well…watch this and you will never want to mess with me! Ngeh ngeh ngeh!!!

From this...... this.... *tsk tsk tsk...give this man his HAIR back pls
I’m thankful to my friends for compelling me to watch this movie. I seriously had a bad few days and somehow this flick manage to perk me up a little. Let’s just hope the scene in this movie will forever remain a fiction because I can’t imagine modern people going against each other in such manner! I don’t think even animals act such way! After watching this I’m tempted to look for the first 300 movie DVD while look forward to the next sequel, prequel or whatever quell you call them! Bring it on SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!   
Krezi Spartan Sewel friends of mine! :) 

1 comment:

  1. LMAO! Correct observations la Mani kutty.... memang BETUL Persians are bodoh.... I know coz u tahu I tinggal kat sini.... kena deal with their LACK of common sense + disrespectin' ur privacy!!! Haizzzzz..... u mesti GILA la kalau u dtg simi!!