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Thursday, 19 December 2013

47 Ronin Review

Can somebody please kill them all? 
47 Ronin Review – Sigh…good or bad…correction, very good or stinking bad…I made a resolution earlier this year that I would write my review about all the movies I get to watch this year anddddddd…..since my all other new year’s resolution is still at the starting line, I, self-proclaimed movie MANIac will give my 2 cents worth of review for this #EPIC #FAIL movie…stay tuned….it’s gonna be baddddddddddddd……
Bengong and the gang! Bluek! :P
The movie is about (damn…can I just copy paste from other review?) heck…I have no idea what’s it’s about but every other synopsis that I read says it’s about….(screw it! I just gonna copy paste) A 3D movie about 47 samurai who, upon the death of their master, they are unable to commit hara-kiri, thus, shamed into becoming the titular Ronin as Ronin is a Japanese term that means lord less samurai. Despite the great wound to their pride and spirit, the newly anointed Ronin rediscover their reason to fight when they decide to avenge their dead lord. Over the course of a year, the Ronin patiently wait out their plan against the villain who brought about his downfall. But what happens when Kai (Keanu Reeves), a half-breed outsider, with a mysterious past falls in love with a princess? *copied from Cinema Online
Turkeys of the year!!! 
Sounds interesting kan? Well…I gotta admit the blardy trailer had so many action scenes I thought …’This is it lar! Keanu is back baby!!! Keanu will once again be famous as he was during his Matrix days!’  Fast forward after the movie…*krick krick krick….Dey Keanu….why lar? WHYYYYYYYYYY??? Did you read the script for this stinker? Did you knock your head somewhere? Are you still in Matrix? How could you cheat your left over fans like this? WHY? WHY? *anybody got his agent contact? I need to speak to the idiot!

Sigh….seriously…I watched our local movie Kolumpo the day before and walked out feeling happy but this movie…’47 kepala hotak ko punya Ronin’ sorta sucked all that joy away. I don’t even know where to begin…the slower than snail phase of the movie….not Japanese looking people trying to look Japanese while making it worst by trying to speak English with a thick Japanese accent that got me laughing my arse off most of the times. The weirder and scarier than Lady Gaga’esque wardrobe, silly special effect….as if 3D did any favour…taik ko lar…kucing aku punya taik lagi chun compared dengan gamba ni punya 3D effect tau tak? Bongok betul! Geram lagi ni. Even though I got preview tickets…I still feel cheated.

Hmmm…I don’t know what else I can write about this rubbish, crap, sampah, kuppeh…errr…how to say sampah in Chinese ah? Forgot dy? Hehehehe….you might be better off watching paint dry on a wall than this piece of cipek crap. Haaaaa…amek ko! Keanu, if you are reading this…I still have faith in you, please rise again. For fucksake! U so heksem but why lah you act macam batu? Sedih ke, happy ke, marah ke, muka sama jer….how liddet? Ok…I need to chill so there you go….lantak ko lah kalau nak tengok ke tak gambar bengong ni! 

I swear this is not matter what I do...the gamba come out terbalik jew! Kekeke
P/s – This is why Western Directors should not mess with Eastern movie making…you guys do no justice to our culture…all chasing for profit jer! Idiota!!! Go direct an alien movie or something instead lar stupid! 

Thanks Churp Churp for the tickets  and I'm sorry about my review but it's the truth and nothing but the truth. 

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