Expendables 3 Review

Thank God for panaromic view camera! 

Expendables 3 Review – The oldies are back with new blood to boot. Izit good enough or should The Expendables become The Disposables?

New and old but mostly same old....

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his ‘brothers’ are back on a new mission. Their government connection now is Drummer (Harrison Ford) who assigns the team to capture Stonebanks (Mel Gibson). Ross accepts the task thinking that Stonebanks is a new emerging baddie only to find out later that he was one of the oldies. After their earlier secret ambush goes wrong, Ross becomes worried about his ‘ageing’ brothers and hires some new blood. Together with the latest recruit, he manages to capture Stonebanks. However before Ross could deliver Stonebanks to Drummer, the crooks escape and turns the tide around. Ross is given 48 hours before the newbies becomes history. How will Ross make up for his mistake? Who can he get help from? Jing’a ling! Jing’a ling…

Can they last or get lost? 

Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Kellan Lutz, Kelsey Grammer…and that’s just like 80% of the cast…there are even more but unfortunately didn’t help much to match with the awesomeness of the first flick. Now it just feels like Sly is giving the veterans some acting jobs while the new ones are screen testing for their debut. Storyline was never part of the franchise so there’s not much to mention about the lack thereof in this instalment as well. Even the firepower is lacking this time. The witty lines have also dropped compared to before. Replacing Bruce with Harrison just made me feel even older while Antonio seems to have swapped ‘potty mouth’ with ‘Donkey’ from Shrek talking his ass-pun intended off. The new kids in the block are so forgettable that you may not miss them if they didn’t make it to the next sequel. Can you feel my frustration? The only saving grace (if any) would be casting Mel as the villain (after the fugly looking Van Damme in EX2). Mel succeeds to portray his offensive side  before he was taken to ‘The Hague’.

Will this plane fly again in another sequel? 

Dear Sly, please come back with a better cast…here are some suggestion…Sean Penn, Nicholas Cage and since women are allowed now…how about hiring Angelina Jolie? Drop Harrison before he dies on the set and kill the audience with his dead-pan delivery. Also special request to include another Asian who won’t be ridiculed for his height. We do have tall man in Asia ok. And by Asian I mean other than Chinese actors…you do know that India is also part of Asia right? So how about including Kamal Hassan or Rajinikanth into the cast? You might just capture the Indian market and make more money there. Just saying. Till then…please enjoy the making money out of this almost stinker of a follow up flick.

Weeeeehoooooooooo!!! Thank you Churp Churp!!! 

P/s - Thank you Churp Churp for the #Churpremiere ticket and singlet!!!